Friday Happies

Wow. Thank you for your tremendous response to my last two posts, for your thoughts, opinions and conversation. I am working my way through them, replying to each one, but it's taking some time. I so enjoyed your random facts! Thank you for those. And your stories about what you do all day - I feel privileged that you shared those with me, all those different tales of strong and interesting women, working in or out of the home.

There is just something I'd like to say (I hoped I wouldn't need to say this, that it would be clear, but just to be on the safe side, I'll say it anyway): women who work in paid employment - be it full time, part time or as a trainee or student - I salute you! You have my total, true and endless respect. I don't think that my choice is superior, in any way, it's just different. My frustration lies in peoples' lack of understanding of my choices. I would never dream of asking a woman (or man) who worked what she did all day long, if she got bored, if it was "enough" for her. I want the respect to flow both ways. Ok, now I've said that I can relax. I would hate to think anyone felt criticised, that was never my intention. 

I loved my job before I had my children, and my decision to leave work was based on the fact that my job involved weekend and evening working, and was a 90 minute commute away. There was no way we could work my job and John's around a family (try finding a nursery that is open at weekends!) and so I decided to leave work and I hope to return to the workplace in the future. But whether you work or stay at home, whether you have children or not...I just want us all to live our own lives and make our own choices, free of snide comments and lazy assumptions. Let's all get along and support each other. Up the women! 

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Anyway, onto my roundup of the little things which have made me so happy this week.

1. You lot. You are my first happy this week - blogging, and the wonderful bloggers I "know". The support, friendship and wisdom I have found in this blogging community heartens me and reminds me that most people are really nice, and we all just want to live and let live.

2. Angus turned five on Monday. Happy Birthday Angus!

I think five is a great age. Angus talks non stop and is full of questions but still has some of the chubby innocence of a pre-schooler. He still has that delicious pot belly and, more importantly, still lets me kiss it. On Tuesday, after dropping Bella somewhere, we walked home really slowly and chatted all the way. I wanted it to last forever and kept slowing down as we neared home. When we got in, I ignored the state of the house and cuddled up on the sofa with him to watch Deadly 60. My baby. I could eat him up.

3. Yesterday I had a pretty idyllic morning at Salt's Mill in Saltaire. I met up with Lucy (She is utterly lovely, funny and friendly - I feel like I know her well, even though we've only actually met in person twice. That's the funny thing about blogging.) and spent a happy couple of hours chatting over coffee. Then I wandered around the mill, looking at the shops and galleries, enjoying the calm and solitude after a frenetic few days. I'll do a proper post about it soon. 

4. A posy from the garden in a pretty new vase.

There's a jumbled mixture of weeds, shrubs and flowers in there. I've no idea what half of them are called but I like them, and I like the riot of May colour against that graphic, geometric pattern on the pot.

5. A steaming hot, perfectly brewed cup of tea. Is it sad that I included this? I've drunk a lot of luke warm cups of tea since having children and really appreciate how much better tea tastes hot. I love tea.

 

I wish you all a lovely weekend. The weather forecast is fine and dry and we have our local carnival tomorrow, so we'll go along to that. We might even have the first barbecue of the year - exciting!!

"Intelligent People Don't Get Bored."

So said a mum from school to me on Monday, as we were waiting for our girls to go in to their ballet and tap lesson. I don't know her that well, but I'd like to get to know her better. We sat together on a coach for an hour last autumn, when we were both helping on a school trip to Skipton Castle, and we chatted. She was really interested in what I told her about the crafting I did, about my role as a stay at home mum, and I asked her about her job (a translator) and what her childhood in Poland was like. We talked about books - she told me she prefers to read in English or Polish "Except for Dostoevsky, which must be read in Russian to be fully appreciated. All the translations are terrible." I nodded, not having the heart to tell her I'd never read Dostoevsky in any language. She is funny, interesting and irreverent. Anyway, we were catching up on Monday and she was asking me what I was up to (the same), was I still volunteering in school (yes), did John have a job yet (yes), had I started my online crafting empire yet (no), and she smiled and said "I bet you're never bored, are you - intelligent people don't get bored". I laughed and said "I'll remember that next time someone asks me what I do all day!"

Because, the thing is, since Angus started school in September, I occasionally feel the need to justify quite what it is that I do do all day long. A recent conversation with a different parent at school unsettled me. She asked me about what I did, if I worked. When I told her I was at home full time, she said "But don't you get bored?" There was no judgement in her voice, just curiosity, but she's not the first person to ask me how I fill my hours. I floundered, unprepared, and muttered something about always seeming to be busy.

My life has never felt so full, so rich. On Monday I did some gardening, went to the supermarket, did chores, baked and decoated two dozen cupcakes for charity, spent the afternoon in school, went from school to ballet, then out for tea to celebrate Angus's birthday, then home for bath and bed. Tuesday: Errands, queuing in the post office, a pile of ironing while I listened to Woman's Hour, in school again in the afternoon, then home with Bella and her friend for tea, then to music classes, then home again for bath and bed. Today: into town first thing for sweets to decorate the cake, bake two cakes, clean the bathroom. I'm writing this now while the second cake is in the oven. This afternoon I'll ice it (and try and make it look like a dinosaur) then after the school run it's Angus's birthday party, then home, then take Bella to Brownies, then I'm supposed to be meeting friends for a drink later tonight.

This is not a "look how busy I am" parade - I'm sure your days are just as full - but honestly, where is there space for boredom here? Perhaps people mean the lack of mental stimulation? I have Radio 4 on constantly, I find that interesting enough. My work in school, the books I read, my blogging, my friendships and my marriage satisfy my need for challenging, stimulating adult conversation and company. I don't feel like my brain is rotting in front of daytime tv. (Incidentally, I never turn the tv on in the day, it reminds me too much of feeding babies, of slumping in front of something at nap time when I was so tired I could barely function.) Creatively, I am always engaged, always making or planning or thinking about something or other. I fall asleep at night thinking about crafting projects. 

So, what do I do all day? I work in a role I love, a role which centres around my family and our home. I am creative. I make things. I am a volunteer. I like to be closely involved in the lives of my children, in their education. I cook, clean, and garden, I organise and interfere, I deal with admin and write lists, I sew on name labels and I make dinosaur birthday cakes. 

I am a stay at home mother and that is enough.

What about you. Do you work? Are you at home full time? How do you answer the dreaded "But, what do you do all day?" question?

Ten Random Things

Inspired by Annie, here are ten random things:

1. The contents of my handbag today: 1. lightweight cotton scarf, 2. wallet (I like the ones that zip up all around the edge), 3. lipbalm, 4. sylvanian family toy (no idea how that got in there), 5. re-usable shopping bags, 6. pens, 7. buttercups, picked by Angus, 8. sunglasses, 9. A DVD (Game of Thrones) ready to post back to Love Film, 10. tissues, 11. filofax. There would usually be a lot more used tissues and scrunched up receipts but I swapped bags last week and had a clean out.

2. I never wear lipstick or lipgloss - I hate the sticky feel of it - but I am addicted to lipbalm and get through tubes of my favourite brand (the one above). I bulk buy it when it's on offer and keep about three tubes dotted around the house.

3. I am very broody. John says no. We are thinking about getting a dog.

4. For someone who likes nices things, I really couldn't give two hoots about cars. Ours is seven years old and a little battered (mainly by me) but the more anonymous it looks, the more I like it. It gets washed maybe twice a year. The interior is a mess of crushed bread sticks, raisins, tissues and pay & display tickets. There is a big juice stain on the middle back seat and I'm fairly sure it smells.

5. I get hayfever.

6. My first job was as a silver service waitress for a local catering company where I grew up, on the South Coast. We'd often do events on HMS Victory and HMS Warrior, which involved carrying all the plates, glasses, food etc on to the ship before the event, then off again at the end of the night. This was especially hard at high tide, when the ramp on and off the boat was very steep. It was incredibly physically demanding. We had to wear a uniform with tights and bow ties no matter how hot it was. I had no proper training and once spilled food on a bloke's dinner jacket. He didn't notice. I didn't say anything.

7. I learnt piano as a child and gave up when I was thirteen. I've regretted it ever since.

8. I love butter, salted especially. It's my weakness. Or, more accurately, one of my weaknesses.

9. I have very vivid dreams. They are like films in my head, full technicolour glory, and can affect my mood right through the day. Last night I dreamt I was in a helicopter with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. Liam Neeson was in their security team. Weird.

10. For breakfast this morning I ate muesli with some chopped fresh fruit and skimmed milk. I really wanted to eat toast with butter and marmalade. 

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Join in, if you like, and post your ten random facts. Or just tell me one in the comment thread. I'd love it, I'm very nosy. :-)

Friday Happies

I've decided to celebrate my Friday Happies here on a regular basis. I had such lovely comments last week; many of you said how much you enjoyed them, and that it was nice to see posts like these back here again, and that just made me SO pleased! I don't know if it will be every week - sometimes it's nice not to be tied into something on a weekly basis - but I can't tell you how much I enjoy both thinking and writing about the simple pleasures which make me happy, and knowing that you get some pleasure from it too, that it might encourage you to think positively and enjoy the small things more - well, that's just wonderful, truly.

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1. I picked some of the white bluebells from the garden. They were starting to fade so I thought, make the most of them, bring them inside. I always resist cutting flowers from the garden for as long as I can as our tiny garden needs all the cheer it can get. If I ever had an allotment I would grow cutting flowers and nothing else, hundreds of them. Forget your squashes and courgettes, I'd grow sweet peas, ranunculus, lupins, foxgloves, poppies, cosmos, roses, tulips, peonies...

2. That time last weekend when the sun shone and I could eat lunch in the garden. Look at the glare on that salad!

3. I started planning my spring embroidery. I need to get cracking before summer comes.

I got a real fizz of excitement in my stomach when I started sketching and choosing colours. I love working on these so much.

4. Zigzag heaven, up and down, row after row. Dreamy colours, dreamy yarn, just an altogether lovely project.

5. I came home from the school run to find that someone had left three sweet pea plants on my doorstep. Such a nice surprise! Remember how I couldn't get any in B&Q over the weekend? It turns out it was my friend Jen. Thank you lovely!

 I hope you all have a great weekend. Ours will include swimming lessons, Angus's first proper play date, bowling and hopefully fish and chips. Oh, and wrapping Angus's birthday presents and googling pictures of dinosaur birthday cakes.

Sunny, Lazy Garden Day

First thing Monday morning. Up early but not dressed till ten. Pottering around the garden in my dressing gown, blinking in the morning sun, frightening the neighbours. Noticing that, seemingly overnight, we have blossom on the apple tree. 

And the magnolia is in full bloom, it's petals so big and wobbly it's a wonder they stay up at all.

Back inside for breakfast (blueberry pancakes with fruit, all swimming in maple syrup), which I took ages to make and eat while I pottered around, drinking a second cup of coffee. A delicious, lazy breakfast.

Once dressed, we all set off to the garden centre, along with the rest of West Yorkshire. There are no sweet peas left (I am too late, the nice man sadly informed me) so I buy a small lavender, some fuschias and geraniums, and some tomato plants.

I spend the afternoon in the garden, planting and potting on, moving and tidying. Hours pass. While my back is turned Bella picks a posy and puts it in a small plastic jar filled with soapy water (hence the bubbles). I am at once annoyed with her for picking the bluebells (and picking them so close to the flower, with no stem! Every time...) and proud of her styling skills.

Then it's time to wander around drinking a cup of tea, examining and surveying.

Everything is warming up and growing. There is less brown and more green in the flower beds, things are happening!

Just look at this alluim, right on the cusp of flowering. I was so dazzled by them last year that I went a bit mad and planted them all over the garden last autumn. In a couple of weeks, there will be a lot of fuzzy purple globe-shaped flowers in our garden.

Ah, bank holidays. There is a good chance that, if you're in the suburbs on a sunny long weekend, you'll hear the hum of lawnmowers. The buzz of hedge trimmers, the tap of a hammer, birds singing, someone's radio on. The occasional plane flying overhead. If you're really lucky the sun will stay out and later on in the day those noises will be replaced with the smell of barbecues lighting up. Gardening on a bank holiday weekend, that great British pastime. 

Coffee and Cake

I've been more than a little impressed with Asda's home wares collection recently. I don't know what they've done but suddenly it's all very gorgeous, and affordable too. You may remember a few weeks ago that I shared my new tea towels (and may I just say that I love being able to do that here and that none of you think I'm bonkers) and, well, I sort of went back and bought some more. Oh, and I have matching mugs too - I bought them about a month ago and they have become firm favourites. I wish they'd do some matching place mats, I really need some new ones, the wipeable sort. We are a messy family.

I had fun picking a few bits and bobs which I like...mugs, cushions, lamps, pretty things:

And there's other stuff not in the stores, like coffee tables, sofas - everything you might need to enjoy coffee and cake, really. And talking of which, here is a recipe for you. It's my mum's, her go-to, foolproof, fail-safe, cake-tin filler of a recipe, and it's become mine too. It's ridiculously easy (to make and to eat) and only uses one bowl. 

Ingredients:

1 lb or 450 g oats

8 oz or 225 g sugar (brown or white, although I prefer the toffee flavour brown gives)

8 oz or 225 g butter

3 tbsp golden syrup

Method: 

• Pre-heat the oven to 180°C or 350°F.
• Melt together the sugar, butter and syrup. I always do this in a large bowl in the microwave, although you could do it in a saucepan on the hob. 
• Stir in the oats.
• Tip into a square baking dish and press flat.
• Bake for 15 minutes.
• As they are cooling, cut them into squares. You'll easily get 16 large flapjacks.
• Store in a tin - they keep for ages, a week easily.

Variations:

Add grated apple and cinnamon, or chocolate and banana chips, or sultanas and cherries to the mixture before baking. 

You could cover them with melted chocolate while they are still in the tin, before cutting them. That's very good indeed.

They are good for snacking, lunchboxes and coffee breaks. I always intend to eat one while sitting down with a cup of coffee and a magazine, but what usually happens is I eat it standing up at the kitchen worktop while waiting for the kettle to boil. But that's just greedy old me.

This is a sponsored post, in collaboration with Asda.

Friday Happies

I miss writing my 52 Weeks Of Happy posts. 

I always used to post them on a Friday. I enjoyed that feeling of looking back over the past seven days combined with the anticipation of the coming weekend, that Friday feeling. Today I feel like writing about the things which have made me glad over the last week as I believe wholeheartedly that small pleasures should be celebrated and cherished, as they add up to a big happy life, so here they are.

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1. A sunny spot to sit with a cup of tea after school.

2. A New Book, this one. It's a gem, one to treasure. I bought it "for the kids" but really it's for me. To be honest, I feared my two had long since outgrown any book which began "My first..." but they love it. Bella read it to herself, while Angus makes me read it to him, especially the page on tadpoles, we've had that one a lot.

I bought it in my local bookshop after seeing a pile on the table and browsing through it. You just can't browse properly online, can you, especially for picture books. It's divided into the four seasons and full of succinct, almost poetic prose and detailed illustrations. It's a gorgeous book, good for babies, children and adults alike.

3. After school garden play.

4. My new light bulb from Nook. I'm obsessed with it. It gives a soft, golden, almost candle-lit glow over the room and I love the way the filaments look.

5. The bluebells that grow under the apple tree every spring. And some white bluebells, too.

We were taught as children to never, ever, pick wildflowers (especially bluebells) and so I get a thrill from knowing that these are mine, and I can pick them if I want to. Not that I do, I'd rather see the colour in the garden than in the house.

6. I tried a new craft, jewellery making, and made some necklaces. I learnt how to tie fancy knots and where in Leeds you can buy jump rings and end caps, should you need to. I found the pattern in issue 37 of Mollie Makes and fancied having a go. Two are gifts, one is for me.

They came out nicely, on the whole. I kept the navy one. 

7. Monday. It was warm and sunny and on the spur of the moment I caught the bus into Leeds (on my own - bliss!) and got some bits and bobs I needed, but mainly I wandered around, browsing and swinging my bag which is my New Favourite Thing because you can put absolutely everything in it. It's capacious, plus it makes me feel a bit like I'm on holiday, like I'm a bit French.

8. Chevrons! I am addicted. They are so zigzaggy and pleasing, up and down you go, changing colour here and there. These colours are left over from my cushion and that cashmerino yarn is dreamily soft and will make the most gorgeous cowl.

Well, that's a bumper list of happies! I'll have to scale it down a bit if I make this a regular thing, I don't want you all getting bored. There are a few purchases up there which is unusual for me. Forgive me, we are still giddy about receiving our first paycheck in many months. I think the odd bit of retail therapy is fine, don't you? Another thing that makes me happy - you lot. You lovely people, who read and comment and offer your support and friendship: thank you. 

I hope you all have a lovely bank holiday weekend.